MENDOZA LINERS: THICC THIGHS FOREVER

Welcome to the seventh of a 12-part weekly write-up which will take us all the way to the start of Spring Training. Each Friday I will examine, in reverse order of last year's regular season finish, each team's situation as the off-season gets underway. I'll break down the piece into three parts: What moves need to be made, Who is getting kept, and What needs to go right in order for that team to make the postseason in 2024.

All opinions are my own, and should you disagree you can file a complaint through the trash talk section in the ESPN Fantasy baseball league website. There is absolutely no chance that site is down for maintenance. No chance. Whatsoever.

what moves need be made?

Welcome to the second half of the offseason profile pieces! You made it through the doldrums of 2023 sadness and now enter the pantheon of minimally moderate success. Here we start to get into some interesting teams poised to dominate in 2024 or desperately clinging to yesterday's success.

Michael Staron has quietly assembled one of the more value-heavy keeper slates in the league. Staron saw his opportunity to position himself for 2024 and traded three players whose keeper value would preclude them from being futue assets in exchange for one ofthe greatest keeper assets in the league, Spencer Strider.

Strider is the best pitching keeper in the league at round 22. Along with his girthy thighs, Staron also has the chonky glutes of Tucker (2) and Alonso (17) to accompany him. There is quality all up and down the line for Staron, so where can he improve?

Staron's fifth keeper spot is a bit of an open question. Some of his options including Fried (3), Doval (7), and Diaz (26) are pretty uninspiring. It would be nice if Staron could acquire one more player to fill out his final spot without having to deal from his top 5, which I really like. Even if Staron has to deal a mid-round pick for a high upside younger player (Chourio, Ragans, Holliday), he has the flexibility to make such a deal.

As it stands Staron is set up to have the best pitching staff in the league, and with boppers Tucker and Alonso in the fold, his focus early should be on balanced players with speed to supplement the steals he already gets from Tucker. Should he not be traded I see Jose Ramirez being an ideal first round pick for Staron.

Who is getting kept?

Staron has already announced his keepers and I agree with all of them. Or do I? Guess you'll have to read on to find out.

KYLE TUCKER (2)

Tucker's most underrated strength is his ability to stay on the field. Tucker had 574 PA's last season and hasn't had under 500 since 2020. He hit .280 last season and came one homer short of going 30/30. He's a first round talent who is only 26 years old and is the only the second best player on this list. Gross.

CORBIN BURNES (16)

Burnes’ ERA has risen year-over-year for the last three seasons. He also has seen his strikout rate fall year-over-year during this same span to the point where he barely struck out a batter per inning last season. The advanced stats still say that Burnes is an elite pitcher who has great movement on his ptches and strong velo on his fastball. It shouldn't matter given the fact that Burnes is kept in the 16th, but it's worth noting he isn't a consensus top 10 arm anymore.

PETE ALONSO (17)

Pete suffered through a nagging arm injury for most of last season and it showed. Even with that limitation though he hit 46 homers. You should expect closer to his .250 career batting average this season and at round 17 he's a stud.

SPENCER STRIDER (22)

He's the best pitching keeper in the league and it isn't close.

TARIK SKUBAL (26)

Skubal is a trendy pick this off-season and you need only look at his Statcast page to see why:

The fastball is absolutely bonkers, as are his off-speed offerings. I have seen concern that Skubal doesn't have a good enough breaking pitch to be truly elite, but he profiles like Wheeler in that his fastball is top level elite and everything builds off it. He is a true value at this pick and is the exact sort of upside play you want in your fifth position.

NOT CURRENTLY ROSTERED

None of Staron's remaining players appeal to me as keepers. I have never been a Fried fan due to the lackluster strikeout numbers and Staron's pitching is strong enough. If he can unload Fried or a draft pick for one more meaningful hitter then he should. Otherwise maybe throw a dart at Edwin Diaz. He's probably still good right?

what needs to go right?

Very little. Staron is a skilled fantasy owner who will build up his team as the season goes along. He doesn't rush into poor deals and has a good eye for talent evaluation. If his pitchers can stay healthy and he drafts a cornerstone bat in the first round then Staron is well positioned for a deep run this season. If Burnes falls off though and Skubal ends up being fool's gold then he may need to skillfully pivot in the trade market. One well placed deal for a final bat before the season starts may be all he needs to do in order to cement himself in the top 4 conversation before things even get going.

IRL TEAM ANALOGUE:

TEXAS RANGERS

Lots of big names, big bats, and big arms. Health is the main enemy, and maybe a little lack of depth on the back end.